Road trips are great because of the little rituals they allow for. You get to eat junk food, sing along to 90s pop, and make fun of other people’s cars. Simple pleasures such as these bring friends closer together in a confined, intimate setting, which is why road trips are a perfect situation to practice being annoying.
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| A perfect situation: your friends will have nowhere to run or hide from you! |
Reading billboards aloud in a car full of people is such an effective way to bother your friends because of its subtlety. At the beginning, other passengers may not even realize that you are doing it. Everyone sees that sign for the Adult Video Superstore and is saying it to themselves in their heads, but you are going to announce it aloud. You’ll create a sort of mental echo, like when you think really hard in a cave. A few signs later, people will start to catch on. You will receive frustrated glances from the person next to you, and you will catch your friends rolling their eyes to each other. Pay these signals no mind. Remember, ignorance is 90% of being annoying. Besides, they are probably just jealous that they didn't think to be annoying first.
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| Reading this as "Buffalo Exing" is a nice way to boost your annoyingness |
Eventually, someone is going to say something. It is imperative that you arm yourself with a quick comeback Luckily for you, I've heard it all. For example, if someone says “C’mon dude”, you could say “Dude? Would you call me a "dude" if I was a woman!?”. Simple yet elegant. If someone asks “Why are you saying everything you see?”, you could flip the question on them by retorting "Why are you seeing everything you say?". If a person in your car says “This is why I said we shouldn’t have brought Kay on this trip!”, you could respond with “Do you realize how often you say that, Mom?”. Ah, good times.
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