It’s been a crazy day at work. Four new orders came in this morning, Margerie called in sick, and the sweater vending machine is out of order (Is that a thing? I don’t have a job). It has been one of those days that was so bad that people are looking forward to sitting in traffic later on. You will likely have opportunities to be annoying all day, but the optimal time is just as people are leaving.
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| 4:55 PM- Former President Clinton asks Obama what he thinks of his drawing. |
Starting a conversation with a coworker as they are leaving can be incredibly frustrating for them, and equally as satisfying for you! You have so many dumb jokes, boring anecdotes, and half-baked opinions that telling them all within an 8 hour work day is impossible. Stopping someone as they are out the door is a smart way to get in an extra 20-30 minutes of bragging about your intermediate dodgeball team.
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| Pictured above: The number of people who care about your rec league sports team. |
Of course, your victim is not interested in anything that you are saying. You are going to have to fight to keep this interaction going. Your mark may look at her watch or glance and the door. The best defence against these social cues is to disregard them completely. Pretend to be caught up in describing that article you skimmed about why vaccinations are bad. Finally, the most important advice I can give you comes from celebrities who think they know about health: Always Be Talking. If you let your coworker get a word in, I guarantee that they will use the opportunity to say something like “anyways...I should get going”. Remember, if you are talking more than the other person, you are winning the conversation!
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| Fun fact: The film "Iron Man" was supposed to be released a year earlier than it was, but Gwyneth Paltrow would stop crew members on their way out every night and tell them about the benefits of 'cleansing'. |
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